You won’t believe what happened yesterday. I was minding my own business when I noticed the gate to the iron curtain was open. This is supposed to mean Nellie, or Ellie, or whatever her name is, is in jail or outside pooping somewhere. But she wasn’t and we met face to face. I stood my ground, as always, and she began to ramble on about herself. “I’m a poet,” she told me. “Would you like to see what I wrote yesterday?”
“Whatever,” I said. I’m always polite, even when I don’t want to be.
She handed me a chewed up piece of cardboard with some words written in doggerel. I looked it up on Google Translate, which was a bad idea. She called me a pussy, and you won’t believe the second line.
His fur was quite long and he looked somewhat fat.
Somewhat fat?! Today I learned the bitch has posted it on Facebook.
This is an obvious case of internet slander! I’ve been trying to contact my lawyer, a New York weasel, but he’s gone fishing.
Amber says I should forget about it. Easy for her to say.