Postcard from Smoothy: Bio
I should right a bio, since you read my words, and see my photos. I’m Swedish of course, and bilingual, as are most Swedes. I learned American (Not English) from an xpat Main Coon kat, named Shank. Shank knew my mom ‘in the carnal way’ as they say in the bible. He and his servant were on the run from someone in New York. I never asked who it was, or why. Sometimes it’s better not to know things.
Sometimes I think of Shank as my dad, but it’s confusing—there were so many involved. There was something with a Rag Doll. Grandma? Very flexible, a high priced call bitch. Ah, those Rags. I feel her in me. I can go limp anytime I want, bend over backwards, left or right —270 degrees, 300 on a good day. Humans will never know what it is to go limp in a lap, and be stroked gently. As good as it gets. Sometimes I over relax and go to sleep.
After a good relax I turn on the after burner, run around the house and tease Ellie. She can’t catch me. I’m much faster in the house, but she might catch me in an open field—or not. I can turn faster than a rabbit. I play ‘chatch the thing on a string’ with the servants when I’m in the mood. It’s fun and gives me opportunity for major flexing and high jumps. I can do a meter and half now, both straight up and horizontal, one place to another. Lamps keep getting in my way, but there are fewer of them now.
I can’t spell worth a damn. I should tell you that. This is my 5th incarnation and I’ve never learned. I’m also a bit dyslexic, but if you get what I say, it doesn’t matter. Kats have 9 incarnations. You’ve probably heard the old “nine lives” bit, but it’s not what you think. The real meaning was written by the Egyptians, a long time ago, when kats were worshiped. The wise guys knew kats lived through 9 incarnations . . . with spaces between. You have to wait your turn, which isn’t bad. Floating around in space—without a body is relaxing.
After the 9th incarnations I get to make a move, up or down the chain of consciousness. Being born kat it petty good. Not many entities as slick as us. Human form is as good as it gets, I guess, but being born a kat’s not bad. Some people think dogs are smarter than kats. How can they think that? Anyone can to what they’re told. It takes brains to do what you’re told not to do.
More of this later. Ellie’s barking at the door. Probably nothing. Ellie hears things.